When God doesn’t speak from a cloud, few things are more difficult in a Christian’s walk than trying to decipher which is the “good, better and best” path in our service for him. Often he reveals it one step at a time and we must walk with him in faith to see where to place our feet next.
After our scouting and seeking trip to Kenya, we feel the Lord pulling back on the reigns. We are not moving forward with Kenya or missions right now because if we did so, it wouldn’t be in faith. For two weeks after the trip, we remained mostly silent on the subject, even with people we know and trust closely. We have received words of knowledge from people we respect. We have run through the internal emotional guilt-gauntlet that has tested our faith and made us examine our motives. The Lord will use all this to teach and strengthen us.
For a year and a half I have prayed specifically about serving in Kenya. I have been excited. I even had an expectation. Now the next step is gone. There is a hole there. “Now what, Lord?” No disrespect to mothers, my friend Justin said it feels a bit like a miscarriage, and in much the same way we have been dealing with a sense of loss. But we know God is faithful and he will direct our path.
Despite the fact that there was never any pressure from our friends or family or the churches in Kenya and Oklahoma, we cannot help feeling that we’re letting people down with this news. It is difficult, because there is a desire on both sides of the ocean, but all of that is secondary if we’re being disobedient to the Lord. And, if we moved forward it would not be in faith.
I’ve only talked with a few people so far and they all have the same question, and you probably will too. Why? Ask the Lord with me. It’s his call. One thing was made clear when we were in Kenya, meeting with missionaries and pastors there: God’s call is the most important thing. With it we can do anything. Without it, there will be futility. He sent us to the other side of the world as a family to tell us the other side of the world is not where he wants our family. We want to serve the Lord with our lives and we know that he will use us wherever we are, but we want to be in the center of his will. That is where we will be most fruitful and effective.
Thank you for your prayers.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6